Well, well, well! the sugar daddies in Jamaica will be getting a serious dent in their pockets. Sandals South Coast is now fully operational and you know what that means right? pure excitement and “nuffness”. Social media is buzzing with the pictures and to be fair it does seem to be an impressive resort.

There are some mumblings about Sandals “stealing” the over the water bungalows idea from Bora Bora but that is a moot point. In the luxury industry, every brand takes something from the other and tries to make it better. Nobody says “Mercedes Benz has leather seats, why BMW steal the idea”. If something is special, your competitors will take inspiration from it so looking like Bora Bora is not a bad thing for Sandals South Coast.

finally hotels start making interesting architecture

One of the biggest issues I have with the Jamaican hotel industry is that they don’t even have the decency to bother building attractive buildings. They take over a piece of the seaside land, tear up the natural beauty and replace it with a giant, tasteless, uninspiring building. When you drive down the North Coast, all you see are these huge, block of cement and mediocracy. Other tourists destinations, if they have to dig up the land at least it has a piece of architecture that is worth looking at. For example the Atlantis Hotel in The Bahamas.

As long as no permanent and long-term damage is done to the body of water that Sandals South Coast occupies then I can only wish them the best. This is a great example of the kind of architecture that Jamaica can produce, even if the inspiration is from halfway across the world. Building construction in Jamaica overall needs to re-invented. We need more energy efficient buildings that make use of our sunlight. These huge blocks of concrete with tiny windows are not only ugly to look at, they end up being more expensive in the long run due to high energy bills and the impact on the environment overall.

I checked the prices……………I can’t afford it

As A Jamaican, I also suffer from the condition called “nuffness”. I went on the Sandals South Coast site with my nuff self, putting in dates and checking quotes. After what I saw the total price come to, if I book a weekend there I will have to eat sardine and tin mackerel for the next 10 years. I am not hanging my durag where I can’t reach it, but for those who can, I would encourage you to go try it. Jamaicans spend billions of “foreign” things all the time, why not spend some money here on the island.

sugar daddies get out the chequebook from now

I feel sorry for the man dem who have to “mine” their much younger “girlfriend”. Your pockets are going to sink like the Titanic because they are going to want to visit Sandals South Coast and post lots of pictures on Instagram. Then again, maybe your budget is so big that the cost of a weekend there is like buying a cheese patty. As old people say, “big man a big man” so I am sure you will be fine. Just a warning, if I see any of my friends who owe me money at this hotel, I am coming for my payment(with interest)!

**The title is obviously not to be taken literal, stop messaging me crying**


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